WEB SITE TERMS OF SERVICE

Wow! You actually came to this page. Our lawyers made us
include it and made us use a precious button on our home page
to get you here. At first, we thought the lawyers were a real
pain. But then we read the page. What a Netwakening! It's
really important stuff. We took the legalese the lawyers
wrote and translated it into readable English. So be a smart
nethead and read the stuff on this page. It could prevent you
from hearing from our lawyers, or worse yet, from really
nasty people, like prosecutors.

Here's the deal:

We run this site so that people like you (and people you like)
can use it for personal entertainment, information, education,
communication, and cybergratification. So go ahead and browse
around all you like. You can even download stuff from the site
but only for non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though,
don't fool around with the copyright and other notices all over
the stuff. They're there for a really good reason. And don't
even think about distributing, modifying, transmitting,
reusing, re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the
stuff, including the text, images, audio, and video, for public
or commercial purposes unless we give you written permission.
And it's not likely we will.

If you visit our site, you're also legally obligated to
[read: stuck with] the terms and conditions listed below and
any other law or regulation that applies to the site, the
Internet, the World Wide Web, or Los Angeles, CA. You shouldn't
access or browse the site if you have any problem with that,
because once you start, there's no turning back -- you are
bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions.

So here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers
who hang out on our site:

1.      For everyone's sake, just assume that everything on
the site is copyrighted unless we say it's not. So you can't
use the stuff except how we say you can on this page or
anywhere else on the site without our written permission.
And like we said before, it's not likely we'll give you
permission anyway. In fact, even if we wanted to, the
lawyers are likely to veto any deal anyway. So it's better
you don't even ask.

2.      While we try to include accurate stuff on the site,
we're not promising you it's accurate. In fact, we're not
promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So if
you use stuff on the site, you're using it at your own risk.
Don't call us if there's a problem because we assume no
liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the
site.

3.      We and anybody else who helped us create, produce,
or deliver the site are not liable for any damages you
suffer when you use it. In particular, the lawyers want
you to know that our disclaimer includes "direct,
incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages
arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without
limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided
to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER
EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE
IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.

Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the
exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the above
exclusions may not apply to you. Check your local laws for
any restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion of
implied warranties. " Ugh! What a mouthful from the
mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes because we
couldn't figure out any other way to say it that the lawyers
would accept. But here's the bottom line -- we're not
responsible if you're browsing around and the site damages
you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses.
We sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't call
us.

4.      If you don't want the world to know something, don't
post in on the site in any bulletin board or anyplace else.
That's because anything you disclose to us is ours. That's
right -- ours. So we can do anything we want with the stuff
you post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it,
publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can
even send it to your mother (as soon as we find her address).
Not only that, we can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how,
or techniques you post any way we want to, including,
developing, manufacturing and marketing products or other
stuff using the information you post.

5.      Pictures of people or places shown on the site are
either our property or someone else's property we're using
with their permission. No matter what, it's definitely not
your property. You or any of your net-friends can't use it
unless we said you could on this page or somewhere else on
the site. And guess what -- we won't say yes. So be careful,
Bunky, because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty
laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you download to yourself.

6.      There's also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service
marks on the site that either we own or we're using with
someone else's permission. So don't think you have any kind
of license or right to use them, because you don't and we're
not about to give you one. If you don't leave them alone and
mess with our trademarks, logos and service marks on our site,
we'll probably go ballistic, so will the companies that own the
other trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that
we're likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after
you for messing around with our property or the property of
others.

7.      You'll probably notice we've linked our site to lots
of others. While that's cool, it doesn't mean we've looked at
all those sites, much less checked them out periodically to
see what's going on. So don't blame us if some site you link
to is bad or has stuff on it that offends you or your pets.
Go ahead and link, but remember, you're doing it at your risk.

8.      That brings us to what you do on our own site. While
we occasionally listen in on chat groups, or look at the
posting in our discussion groups or on our bulletin boards,
we take no responsibility and assume no liability for the
content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation,
libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography,
or profanity you might encounter when you visit such places on
our site. And don't be stupid by posting or transmitting any
unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene,
scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane
material or any material that law enforcement types may consider
a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or
for that matter violate any law -- anywhere, anytime. While we
certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but to fully
cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court which
might ask us who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.

9.      Software that we use on this Site is protected by
all sorts of patriotic U.S. laws. Because of that, you can't
download or send the software to anyone in the vacation
travel spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Iran, Syria,
or any other country where United States has embargoed goods;
or (get this) to anyone on the United States Treasury
Department's list of Specially Designated Nationals, the U.S.
Commerce Department's Table of Deny Orders, or the FBI's Most
Wanted Internet Creeps List (just kidding on the last one).
As if that were not tough enough, if you live in or are a
national of any of those lovely places, you're not even
supposed to be reading this page, so beat it!

10.     We're also allowed to change this page and anything
else on the site any time we want to. That's because it's
ours and we have the programmers who can do it. If we do
change the page, then you're bound by [read: stuck with]
those changes, too, whenever you visit our site.

11.       If either of us wants to make something of it
and wants to “sue” (a dirty word) then we have to follow
these rules of engagement. (sort of according to the Geneva
Convention):

This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of
Arizona, without regard to principles of conflict of laws.

To the extent you have in any manner violated or threatened
to violate SharonMichaels.com and/or its affiliates'
intellectual property rights, SharonMichaels.com and/or
its affiliates may seek injunctive or other appropriate
relief   in any state or federal court in the State of
Arizona, and you consent to exclusive jurisdiction and
venue in such courts.

Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:

If a dispute arises under this agreement, we agree to first
try to resolve it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon
mediator in the following location: City of Tucson. Any costs
and fees other than attorney fees associated with the mediation
will be shared equally by each of us.

If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory
solution through mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to
binding arbitration at the following location: City of Tucson,
under the rules of the American Arbitration Association.
Judgment upon the award rendered by the arbitration may be
entered in any court with jurisdiction to do so.

If this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you should
have seen what the lawyers gave to us in the first place. We
had to remind them that human torture and sacrifice was
outlawed in the United States. Boy, did they look disappointed!

July 1, 2007

SharonMichaels.com

This Legal Document Was Produced Using AutoWebLaw